Top Other Things You Didn’t Know About Mitt Romney

I write freelance jokes for morning radio shows. One of the things they ask for are Top Ten-style lists. Sometimes they buy what I write. Often they don’t. So rather that let them go to waste, I thought I’d start posting them here so somewhere people can enjoy them.

Top Other Things You Didn’t Know About Mitt Romney.

His magic Mormon underwear has the power to make his personality disappear.

As a boy he tied puppies to the top of his bicycle.

Growing up he and his friends played “Hide and Seek the Tax Returns.”

His favorite flavor of ice cream is strawberry. . . no, vanilla. . . wait, pistachio. . .

He’s teaching Ann’s dancing horse the “Gangham Style” dance.

By mistake, he once fired himself.

He was so poor when he started out that his apartment only had a car escalator.

At the holidays he serves meals to poor families like the Rockefellers and Kennedys.

At the supermarket checkout he flips through “People” magazine to see pictures of his favorite corporations.

He thinks Joe Biden is sexier than Paul Ryan.

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3 Responses to “Top Other Things You Didn’t Know About Mitt Romney”

  1. pouringmyartout Says:

    As someone who has been releasing his anger at Romney through Photoshop antics, I have to love this post.

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