Top Little-Known Facts About the United Nations!

All the nations of the world are united on one thing: no way did Jon Cryer deserve that Emmy.

The delegates from France and Brazil totally hooked up during the holiday party.

All speeches are translated into Romulan.

Greece? Totally gay.

For some reason the Colombian ambassador is always getting phone calls from Lindsay Lohan and Billie Joe Armstrong

All that money collected by kids trick-or-treating for UNICEF actually goes to hire strippers.

The UN just stationed peacekeepers between Beyonce and Kim Kardashian.

The blue in the U.N. flag matches exactly Jake Gyllenhaal’s dreamy eyes.

When his speech gets cut short, Iran’s Mahmoud Ahmadinejad freaks out worse than Billie Joe Armstrong.

In order to get Angelina Jolie to serve as a U.N. goodwill ambassador, every country in the world had to agree to give her one child.

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Top Things Overheard At the Emmys!!

And the Emmy goes to. . . Whitney Cummings. Psych!

If “Mad Men” loses, you “comfort” Christina Hendricks, and I’ll “comfort” Jon Hamm.

Neil Patrick Harris just offered to show me his “statue.” In the men’s room.

Best Supporting Actor? Now they’re just giving everything to Betty White!

To get through this show, I bought a little something from the guys from “Breaking Bad”.

I just stood between Sofia Vergara and Christina Hendricks. So I guess for me this just became the Golden Globes!

And this is your mother. Now you’ve finally met her.

In person, Zooey Deschanel is even more adorkable!

Look, Lady Gaga’s here! Oh, it’s just Mike from “Mike and Molly”.

I sure hope Best Comedy goes to the Mitt Romney campaign!

I just saw Jessica Lange up close. Talk about an “American Horror Story”!