Posts Tagged ‘Abraham Lincoln’

My Jokes for the 2013 Oscars!

February 26, 2013

During the Oscars I was writing jokes for my freelance gig for a morning radio prep service. I figured I’d post them here so the world at large could enjoy them – even the ones the radio didn’t buy!

“Brave” won the Oscar for Best Animated Film. Voters picked “Brave” because they thought they were honoring anyone who sat all the way through Seth MacFarlane’s opening.

When accepting his Oscar for Best Supporting Actor, Christoph Waltz quote dialogue from “Django Unchanged”. Even more impressive than winning an Oscar, he managed to find the only lines in the whole movie that didn’t use the “N-word.”

Seth MacFarlane’s opening monologue included references to “Star Trek”, “The Flying Nun” and “Smokey and the Bandit”. All of which were more current than any reference Seth’s ever included in an episode of “Family Guy”.

“Les Misérables” won the Oscar for Best Makeup. They did amazing work, but they still couldn’t do anything to touch up was Russell Crowe’s singing voice.

The opening of the Oscars included a number where Channing Tatum performed a dance with Charlize Theron in a tuxedo. It was as good as I imagined it would be. Except replace “Charlize Theron” with “me” and “tuxedo” with “purple rhinestone-studded jockstrap.”

“Paperman” won the Oscar for Best Animated Short. And Seth MacFarlane’s opening monologue won the Oscar for Best Un-Animated Long.

William Shatner took part in a filmed bit at the beginning of the Oscars. It was a strange choice for a ceremony that honors great acting. But not as strange as next week’s Great Boyfriend Awards opening with a race by Oscar Pistorius.

“Argo” won the Oscar for Best Editing. Mainly for the great job they did editing the “F” out of “Fargo”.

George Clooney introduced the “In Memoriam” segment of the Oscar show. First in the segment: George Clooney’s youth.

The Oscars included a salute to movie musicals and a performance by Barbra Streisand. And if you got excited about all that. . . congratulations on coming out of the closet!

Adele’s “Skyfall” won the Oscar for Best Original Song. Adele plans to put the statue in her mansion. . . the one she bought to keep all her other awards.

Daniel Day-Lewis became the first man to win three Oscars for Best Actor. Gauntlet tossed, Adam Sandler!

Watch “A Day Which Will Live in Comedy” from Top Story! Weekly Episode 118: “Are You Ready for Some Jobs Speech?”

September 14, 2011

We do a show every Sunday night at iO West based on the news of the previous seven days. And when I saw that this past Sunday would be September 11, it posed a quandary: we couldn’t just ignore the anniversary, but anything we did would have to be tasteful and respectful while still being funny. And then I hit on it: make the sketch about the very difficulty we were having on doing a comedy show on the anniversary of a tragedy, only set it on the anniversary of another, analogous tragedy. I’m pretty proud of the results; I got more compliments on this sketch than on any I’ve written in a while.

A DATE THAT WILL LIVE IN COMEDY by Michael Hughes

Starring Matthew Harris (Neil), Brent Pope (Larry), Brian Vestal (Gus), Shannon Ayers (Rosie) and Colin Contreary (Pete)

Directed by Michael Hughes

Watch “Barton, Fink” from Top Story! Weekly Episode 58: “(61) Days of Oil”

July 2, 2010

Another sketch I wrote – co-wrote, actually – from the Matthew Gray Gubler Top Story! Weekly show – only this one is without Criminal Minds‘ Dr. Spencer Reid. Brent Pope did a great job here as the congressman who thought the U.S. government should apologize to BP.

After apologizing to BP for President Obama’s “shakedown,” Texas Congressman Joe Barton has a lot more people to apologize to!

To see all the sketches from Top Story! Weekly as soon as they’re posted, subscribe to our YouTube channel!

BARTON, FINK (PARTS 1 AND 2) by Derek Jeremiah Reid and Michael Hughes – from Top Story! Weekly Episode 58: “(61) Days of Oil”

Starring Brent Pope (Joe Barton)

Directed by Michael Hughes


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