Posts Tagged ‘Angelina Jolie’

Top Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Get Castrated!

September 28, 2012

Researchers say men who are castrated live longer. If going to that extreme to extend your life interests you, first take a second and look at the Top Questions to Ask Yourself Before Getting Castrated:

Do I want my only choice at karaoke to be Bee Gees songs?

If I have the operation, what will I scratch mindlessly?

Will the operation make it easier to get elected as a Democrat?

Will my favorite movie change from “Terminator” to “The Notebook”?

Could I get the same effect by watching nothing but the OWN network?

Do I need to get them back from my wife first?

Can I have them back afterwards to tie to the back of my pickup?

Will I still be eligible to compete in drag beauty pageants?

Will they use the same procedure Angelina Jolie used on Brad Pitt?

Can I donate my “equipment” to Chaz Bono?

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Top Little-Known Facts About the United Nations!

September 26, 2012

All the nations of the world are united on one thing: no way did Jon Cryer deserve that Emmy.

The delegates from France and Brazil totally hooked up during the holiday party.

All speeches are translated into Romulan.

Greece? Totally gay.

For some reason the Colombian ambassador is always getting phone calls from Lindsay Lohan and Billie Joe Armstrong

All that money collected by kids trick-or-treating for UNICEF actually goes to hire strippers.

The UN just stationed peacekeepers between Beyonce and Kim Kardashian.

The blue in the U.N. flag matches exactly Jake Gyllenhaal’s dreamy eyes.

When his speech gets cut short, Iran’s Mahmoud Ahmadinejad freaks out worse than Billie Joe Armstrong.

In order to get Angelina Jolie to serve as a U.N. goodwill ambassador, every country in the world had to agree to give her one child.

Watch “TS!W 720: Jennifer Aniston’s Summer Movie Preview” from Top Story! Weekly Episode 148: “The Four- (or Eight-) Year Engagement”!!

May 1, 2012

Shannon Ayers’ last show as a member of the Top Story! Weekly cast gave me one last chance to write a sketch to showcase her great Jennifer Aniston impression!!

TS!W 720: JENNIFER ANISTON’S SUMMER MOVIE PREVIEW by Michael Hughes

Starring Shannon Ayers (Jennifer Aniston) and Phillip Wilburn (Anchor)

Directed by Michael Hughes

Watch “TS!W 720: The SAG/AFTRA Merger” from Top Story! Weekly Episode 136: “Three Amigos”

February 7, 2012

We did a special show Super Bowl Sunday, just three actors in a “Grill the Candidates” format. (It was really good; you should check it out on the Top Story! Weekly YouTube channel.) Throughout the show Kipleigh Brown and Mike McLendon had only been anchors, so we thought that for the desk piece we’d give them the chance to play characters. Mike mentioned he does the spokesman in the GEICO ads, so he became AFTRA’s spokesman, and Kip did Angelina Jolie, as we looked at the proposed merger between SAG and AFTRA. Mike’s non sequitors, many of which he wrote, are pretty hilarious.

TS!W 720: THE SAG/AFTRA MERGER by Michael Hughes and Phil Ranta

Starring Kipleigh Brown (Angelina Jolie), Mike McLendon (Mike McGlone the GEICO Guy) and Phillip Wilburn (Anchor)

Directed by Phillip Wilburn

Watch “It Was Up To You, New York” from Top Story! Weekly Episode 108: “Just One More Thing…”

July 6, 2011

We put our scripts together on Friday nights. And on Friday night, June 24, the New York State Senate was voting on gay marriage. Clearly it was a story we’d have to address in Top Story! Weekly if it passed. Originally, I wrote this sketch so that famous New Yorkers were urging the Senate to vote in favor of gay marriage. But as I was finalizing the script, the bill passed, so I changed it to a more celebratory sketch, which worked much better. But the real highlight of this sketch is the showcase of our cast’s awesome impersonations. I looked at who we had that week, thought of who they could do, and the results were awesome. The audience applause got louder with every entrance.

IT WAS UP TO YOU, NEW YORK by Michael Hughes

Starring Jen Cain (Hillary Clinton), Phillip Wilburn (Donald Trump), Shannon Ayers (Jennifer Aniston), Brian O’Connell (Woody Allen) and Derek Reid (Tracy Morgan)

Directed by Michael Hughes

Watch “Chelsea Handles Brangelina” from Top Story! Weekly Episode 81: “Lame Duck, Lame Duck, Goose!”

December 17, 2010

Chelsea Handler lashes out at Angelina. I get to write another sketch with Jennifer Aniston!

Chelsea Handler’s onstage slams at Angelina Jolie draw a surprise visit from her new best friend – Jennifer Aniston!

To see all the sketches from Top Story! Weekly as soon as they’re posted, subscribe to our YouTube channel!

CHELSEA HANDLES BRANGELINA by Michael Hughes – from Top Story! Weekly Episode 81: “Lame Duck, Lame Duck, Goose!”

Starring Melissa Okey (Chelsea Handler), Shannon Ayers (Jennifer Aniston), Phillip Wilburn (Emcee) and Matthew Harris (Server)

Directed by Tom Repetto

Watch “He’s Just That Into You” from Top Story! Weekly Episode 62: “Shirley You Can’t Be Serious”

August 3, 2010

I love writing sketches designed for particular actors in the Top Story! Weekly cast – so when I saw the story about Jennifer Aniston’s stalker Jason Peyton, I knew it would be a great chance to write a sketch for Shannon Ayers’ awesome Aniston impersonation!

Jennifer Aniston may have found a new man – her stalker!

To see all the sketches from Top Story! Weekly as soon as they’re posted, subscribe to our YouTube channel!

HE’S JUST THAT INTO YOU by Michael Hughes – from Top Story! Weekly Episode 62: “Shirley You Can’t Be Serious”

Starring Shannon Ayers (Jennifer Aniston), Matthew Harris (Jason Peyton), Artemis Pebdani (Lawyer), Brent Pope (Judge) and Christopher Biewer (Bailiff)

Directed by Michael Hughes

The Official 2009 Academy Awards Drinking Game!!

February 22, 2009

popcorn-shots

Last year we posted a little guide to getting pleasantly buzzed with the help of the Academy Award ceremony that got a little bit of traffic on the Internet. Never being ones to let done our civic duty as members of the entertainment industry community, we at Big News have undertaken this task again. Now, we have a brand-new show Oscar night, starting at 9pm at iO West. And we’ve already provided you with a handy guide to parking restrictions and street closures on Sunday. So make sure your Oscar night plans include a stop at iO West – with a full bar in case you want to play along before “Big News.” Just make sure that if you’re imbibing, you make arrangements for someone else to drive, or take public transportation.

So to get started, just click here!

big-news-oscar-show-02-22-091


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