Posts Tagged ‘Iran’

Top Things Overheard from President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad During His New York Trip!

September 28, 2012

Iran’s controversial president is in the Big Apple for the U.N. General Assembly session. Let’s get his observations with the Top Things Overheard from President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad During his New York Trip.

So are there any movies showing that don’t blaspheme Mohammed?

I found this bitchin’ store in Times Square with a sale on Members Only jackets!

In this whole city I bet I couldn’t find 72 virgins.

We better wrap things up at the U.N. on time. I’ve got tickets tonight to see “Newsies” on Broadway!

I know I hate the Jews and all, but I’d kill for a bagel with lox!

You call Iran a threat to America, and yet you give Lindsay Lohan a drivers’ license?

While I’m here, might as well pick up a few bucks by driving a cab.

The only way Iran will get “the bomb” is if I hook up with Sofia Vergara, am I right?

When my wife looks at my credit card statements, I’m going to have to deny the existence of these trips to Crazy Girls!

In Iran, we’d just have those replacement refs shot.

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Top Little-Known Facts About the United Nations!

September 26, 2012

All the nations of the world are united on one thing: no way did Jon Cryer deserve that Emmy.

The delegates from France and Brazil totally hooked up during the holiday party.

All speeches are translated into Romulan.

Greece? Totally gay.

For some reason the Colombian ambassador is always getting phone calls from Lindsay Lohan and Billie Joe Armstrong

All that money collected by kids trick-or-treating for UNICEF actually goes to hire strippers.

The UN just stationed peacekeepers between Beyonce and Kim Kardashian.

The blue in the U.N. flag matches exactly Jake Gyllenhaal’s dreamy eyes.

When his speech gets cut short, Iran’s Mahmoud Ahmadinejad freaks out worse than Billie Joe Armstrong.

In order to get Angelina Jolie to serve as a U.N. goodwill ambassador, every country in the world had to agree to give her one child.


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