Top Questions to Ask Yourself Before Dating Arnold Schwarzenegger

Are you also willing to clean his house?

Can you put up with a boyfriend who speaks only in annoying catch phrases?

Do you mind having sex with someone whose organs are shrunken from years of steroid use?

Do you actually believe that Danny DeVito could be his twin brother?

Do you mind if his breasts are bigger than yours?

If you enjoy the date, will you come back for the sequel?

Would you be willing to sit through “Junior”?

Do you care if you have a last name no one can spell?

Do you want Arnold to do to you what he did to California as governor?

Would you please make sure he never, ever runs for office again?

Advertisement

Watch “He Said He Would Be Back” from Top Story! Weekly Episode 84: “Oh, Captain, My Captain!”

Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn’t know what to do now that he’s not governor anymore, so Maria Shriver invites an old friend over – Danny DeVito!

To see all the sketches from Top Story! Weekly as soon as they’re posted, subscribe to our YouTube channel!

HE SAID HE WOULD BE BACK…by Michael Hughes – from Top Story! Weekly Episode 84: “Oh, Captain, My Captain!”

Starring Phillip Wilburn (Arnold Schwarzenegger), Kipleigh Brown (Maria Shriver) and Brent Pope (Danny DeVito)

Directed by Kristina Adelmeyer