Top Things Overheard from President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad During His New York Trip!

Iran’s controversial president is in the Big Apple for the U.N. General Assembly session. Let’s get his observations with the Top Things Overheard from President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad During his New York Trip.

So are there any movies showing that don’t blaspheme Mohammed?

I found this bitchin’ store in Times Square with a sale on Members Only jackets!

In this whole city I bet I couldn’t find 72 virgins.

We better wrap things up at the U.N. on time. I’ve got tickets tonight to see “Newsies” on Broadway!

I know I hate the Jews and all, but I’d kill for a bagel with lox!

You call Iran a threat to America, and yet you give Lindsay Lohan a drivers’ license?

While I’m here, might as well pick up a few bucks by driving a cab.

The only way Iran will get “the bomb” is if I hook up with Sofia Vergara, am I right?

When my wife looks at my credit card statements, I’m going to have to deny the existence of these trips to Crazy Girls!

In Iran, we’d just have those replacement refs shot.

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Top Things Overheard At the Emmys!!

And the Emmy goes to. . . Whitney Cummings. Psych!

If “Mad Men” loses, you “comfort” Christina Hendricks, and I’ll “comfort” Jon Hamm.

Neil Patrick Harris just offered to show me his “statue.” In the men’s room.

Best Supporting Actor? Now they’re just giving everything to Betty White!

To get through this show, I bought a little something from the guys from “Breaking Bad”.

I just stood between Sofia Vergara and Christina Hendricks. So I guess for me this just became the Golden Globes!

And this is your mother. Now you’ve finally met her.

In person, Zooey Deschanel is even more adorkable!

Look, Lady Gaga’s here! Oh, it’s just Mike from “Mike and Molly”.

I sure hope Best Comedy goes to the Mitt Romney campaign!

I just saw Jessica Lange up close. Talk about an “American Horror Story”!